Saturday, February 7, 2009

YO MAMA PAINTBALL TRASH TALK

Have you ever heard kids trash talk on the paintball field? Well here is some material that will be used on PB fields all over the world sometime soon.

I wrote these myself in the paintball context. Had a lot more but had to cut back. If you have more jokes to contribute please post in the comments box.

I guess I'll have to make a tshirt of it sometime.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You mama so fat she is out of bounds everywhere in the field.

Yo mama so fat your team makes keeps mistaking her for a bunker.

You mama so fat when she plays snake she goes in the car wash.

Yo mama so fat when the chrono beeps, people think she is backing up.

Yo mama so fat she can hide behind Temples 1, 2 and 3.

Yo mama is so stupid when Ollie Lang yelled 'California' she took a plane there.

Yo mama so fat we could bunker her from our 20.

Yo mama is so poor she bought a wind-up loader.

Yo mama is so stupid she bought a virtue chip for her pump gun.

You mama so fat when someone calls a paint check on her - it takes half and hour.

Yo mama so ugly when she takes her mask off after a game the crowd yells "mask on!"

Yo mama so fat they hang the flag on her.

Yo mama so fat when she throws an empty pod away - it lands in Thailand.

Yo mama so fat when she breaks out she already made the 50.

Yo mama so fat she shared the team table with everyone in all 3 divisions.

Yo mama so fat the guys in the next field could bunker her too.

Yo mama so stupid it took her 10 minutes to count down the 10 seconds.

Yo mama so stupid she takes her shoes off when they yell 'socks off!'

Yo mama so stupid when they told her to go into the dead box - she went to the morgue

Yo mama is so poor even Davey gave her his gear.

Yo mama so stupid she brought rope to hang the flag.

Yo mama is so fat she uses a fan belt as a goggle strap.

Yo mama so fat when she lined up to get air she had to stand in the car park.

Yo mama is so fat she can play in D1 from D3.

Yo mama is so stupid she brought spray paint to a paintball tournament.

Yo mama is so fat - she thought the safety net around the field was 'too tight'.

Yo mama is so fat it takes 3 shots to 'lane' her.

Yo mama is so stupid she bought batteries for her mech marker.

Yo mama is so ugly the she has to wear two masks.

Yo mama is so fat she can carry 35 pods.

Yo mama is so stupid she ate the 'cake' bunker.

Yo mama is so fat when she sneezed, they called everyone out on the other team.

Yo mama is so fat she can play on both teams on the field at the same time.

Yo mama is so fat when paint bounces off her- it lands in China.

Yo mama is so stupid when she plays the dorito bunker, she brings dip.

Yo mama is so stupid when the ref spins his finger to say 'play on'- she's spins her body

Yo mama is so fat when they call a 'one for one' penalty - they just pull her out.

Yo mama is so fat she carries 5 paintball caddys on her harness

Yo mama is so fat when she 'walked the trigger' - she broke it

Yo mama is so stupid she was 'overshot' by a mech marker.

----------------------------------------------
Copyright 2009 seburo.blogspot.com
If you want to republish or post it in a forum please credit me and my blog.

2 comments:

muffin =] said...

that last one is the best.

SEBURO said...

its my favourite.